


Battle of Watford

by DarkestTomorrow



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: AU, M/M, can you tell i don't know how to tag, there are Basilisk fangs and kissing and exasperated Penelopes, think Battle of Hogwarts with the above three
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 13:13:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13975860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkestTomorrow/pseuds/DarkestTomorrow
Summary: Essentially the Ron/Hermione get-together scene in The Battle of Hogwarts reworked, sort of, to fit these characters.





	Battle of Watford

There is an explosion from overhead, a red flash, and a rain of debris over Baz’s head. Baz swears under his breath as he ducks for cover. He’s beginning to think that Snow and Bunce have abandoned him, have duped him into believing they’re all on the same end of this. Perhaps this … _diadem_ doesn’t even exist - and masquerades only as Snow’s excuse to desert Baz in the middle of this god-forsaken battle. He wonders idly if this means that Snow is, in fact, the _plotter_ of the two. The thought is so absurd that Baz sniggers to himself.

And then, just as he is resigning himself to his fate of betrayal and doom, he sees them. Snow and Bunce hurrying towards him, their arms heaped with large, curved, dirty yellow objects, Snow with the Sword of Mages tucked under his right arm.

Baz scowls and then sprints to catch up to them.

“Baz –”, Snow heaves, his mouth hanging open, gulping in air.

Baz is irritated, because really, there is no justice in the world. Snow is flushed, his eyes shining, and there’s a wound against his cheekbone that feels as though it was inflicted tactically just to unravel Baz. Snow is a study in battle-heroes, and the threads of his life are a visceral, tangible presence around the three of them.

Baz thinks he might swoon.

“Where the _hell_ have you been?”, he hisses instead.

“Chamber of Secrets”, Snow gasps.

“Chamber of – _what?”_

“It was Simon, all Simon’s idea!” Bunce says beaming. “Genius, really, we ought to ought to have thought of it sooner. We hadn’t even considered – the cup – but how do we get rid of it? And then he thought of it! The Basilisk!”

Baz gapes at them. “The Basilisk--?”

“Its fangs, of course”, Bunce tuts. She glances down at the yellowing fangs in her arms and frowns. “A bit disgusting, really”, she peers at one closest to her. “They’re quite odious-looking, fangs, aren’t they?”

Snow elbows Penelope at this, raising his eyebrows meaningfully at her.

“Wha – oh”, she glances dismissively at Baz and rolls her eyes. “No offence, Baz.”

“What?” Baz sputters. “Why would I –“, and then, realisation dawning, “No, _what?_ Mine look nothing like --". And then hearing the words leaving his mouth, he abruptly stops speaking.

Snow narrows his eyes at him. He’s wearing that look he wears when he’s accusing Baz of plotting and / or of being a vampire, and Baz has to struggle not to strangle him. Or to lay one on him. (The latter, quite frankly, isn’t really specific to the current situation.) (It’s more a constant state of being for him.)

“Boys!” Bunce snaps, rearranging her arms under the Basilisk fangs. “Focus. We need to go – _now.”_

“Right, yes”, Snow says, turning towards her. But then he spins back suddenly, “Hang on a minute, we’ve forgotten someone!”

“Who?” Baz asks.

“The house-elves, they’ll all be down in the kitchen, won’t they?”

“You mean we ought to get them fighting?” asks Penelope, frowning.

“No”, Snow says seriously, “I mean we should tell them to get out. We don’t want any more Dobbys, do we? We can’t order them to die for us.”

Baz thinks, perhaps, that he might swoon after all. Except he is much too proper and sensible, and so he settles instead for a bastardly sneer. “How very winsome of you, Snow.”

He tries to inject an element of derision to his words, but he’s not sure he’s delivered. Because really, it _was_ awfully winsome, and Baz is rather devastatingly won-over.

Snow, he thinks irritably, is right, they have to warn the house-elves. Baz sighs. “I know a way. There’s a tunnel connecting the kitchen to the catacombs. We can get Cook Pritchard to lead them ou--“.

There is a clatter as the Basilisk fangs cascade out of Snow’s arms, and a ringing sound as the metal of the Sword meets the marbled floor. Then Snow is charging at Baz, his eyes burning blue fire, and for a second Baz is alarmed – is about to blurt “Anathema!” at Snow, before realising the complete absurdity of that in the moment.

And then Simon Snow is kissing Baz - and there is a pause - and then Baz is kissing him right back with seven years of bottled desire. He is pouring his very being into Simon, is kissing like he is furious. Furious that Snow is such an imbecile, furious that it took him this long.

And Simon is pushing right back, he is saying _I’m sorry, forgive me_ with his lips, his tongue. He is clutching the front of Baz’s shirt, he is tugging his hand through his hair, he is scorching Baz with his warmth.

Simon and Baz are kissing, and a war is raging on outside. And Penelope – Penelope is unsurprised and has really had quite enough of these two.

**Author's Note:**

> Is this where I do a disclaimer? (Is that still a thing we do?)  
> Obviously, a bunch of the dialogue has been picked up directly from Deathly Hallows - the idea was to sort of just rework that scene for Baz and Simon. There's about 4 lines in the middle there that I had written down for ages but couldn't think of any context to go with. The Battle of Hogwarts (and the ensuing Romione), as it happens, was the solution of choice.  
> I practically own nothing - except many pens and a car that keeps breaking down. Don't sue me, thank you.


End file.
